he said what...

as somebody who keeps close tabs on the sporting world, i have been bombarded by a story this evening, the cause and effect of which spans much wider than the esoteric sporting niche. to summarize, phil jackson, the coach of the l.a. lakers referred to his team's game a few nights ago as a "brokeback mountain" game due to the large amount of penetrating and kicking out. phil has subsequently been raked across the coals (burning brightly with the flame of p.c.-ness) by the seven or eight columnists and other commentators who have broached the subject of the comments on a couple of espn shows.
it's quite true that i've stood firmly on the right side of the politically correct line that's been drawn through our society, but it's difficult for me to find in jackson's comments anything that defames the homosexual community; he could have easily substituted "porno" for "brokeback mountain" or for that matter, any other term that insinuates sexual activity. so far as i can see, he did nothing but identify the film as one that includes a few sexually charged scenes. i was unaware it was socially impossible to bring up the idea of homosexuality without some sort of slander intrinsically linked.
i can't determine which is more upsetting to me...the idea that somebody can be nationally lambasted for trying to bring a little color to the normally mundane post game interview process or the thought that all of the talking heads feel compelled to take such an assertive stance as to how wrong and tragic his comments were. jackson has since come out with a less than half-hearted public statement (which aired before the lakers game last night) during which he apologized to gays, texans and horses for any possible offense taken. as far as this blogger is concerned, the blatantly sarcastic tone of the apology is a proper response to all the issue taken.
for referential purposes, i am not as homophobic as i probably once was...i strongly feel that if a man wants to spend his life with another man he should be able to do so without catching any grief from me. it is still difficult for me to accept the idea of gay marriages as to me it represents the first step down a slippery slope of societal perversion, which is to say that i feel it is unnatural. further explanation will lead this posting down a long and winding road that for now i'm not quite up to sojourning. my how quickly benign blogs can transform into an entirely different monster. best wishes to all...

forever young

over the past several years it has become pretty clear to me that i've been repeatedly guilty of bottling up and repressing significant issues and thoughts i experience. while i don't think that blog posts are the best way for me to deal with said issues, i do feel that they may serve me well in a complementary manner to other venues of coping...this idea is galvanized by the fact that the 7 or 8 people that might pay attention to this site have nothing but my wellness at mind, as was reiterated to me this afternoon when i opened my email inbox to a sincere, heart softening message from someone i have respected from a distance for the past few years.
in one of the bob dylan songs that i find particularly poignant, bobby petitions us to always do for others, and let others do for us. i feel that in dealing with the things i deal with i've adopted an attitude of isolation, convincing myself that some of the emotional distresses i go through are unique to me. this demeanor has, in my estimation, hindered me from applying the latter part of bob's advice. in the past several months, through sharing and listening with/to others who have dealt with similar circumstances and struggles i have found immense encouragement. who would've thought, i'm not the center of the universe after all, nor am i the first to experience some of the feelings i do/have.
i recognize the idea of my opening up emotionally as a journey rather than a destination, which has both frightened and comforted me. i do know that as i have gradually removed myself from myself and the accompanying self centered-ness it has become so much easier for me to realize the magnificence of the grace, compassion and understanding that are exhibited when others do for me. along those same lines, i have gained an enhanced feeling of self-satisfaction and happiness when i try to do for others.
while i still find myself wallowing in the seemingly crumby hand i feel i've been dealt from time to time (i wish god played by the ace-no face rule), i certainly appreciate that it's taken everything i've been through to get me where i am today, and in keeping with the 60's lyrics, i've got to admit it's getting better, a little better all the time.