over the past several years it has become pretty clear to me that i've been repeatedly guilty of bottling up and repressing significant issues and thoughts i experience. while i don't think that blog posts are the best way for me to deal with said issues, i do feel that they may serve me well in a complementary manner to other venues of coping...this idea is galvanized by the fact that the 7 or 8 people that might pay attention to this site have nothing but my wellness at mind, as was reiterated to me this afternoon when i opened my email inbox to a sincere, heart softening message from someone i have respected from a distance for the past few years.
in one of the bob dylan songs that i find particularly poignant, bobby petitions us to always do for others, and let others do for us. i feel that in dealing with the things i deal with i've adopted an attitude of isolation, convincing myself that some of the emotional distresses i go through are unique to me. this demeanor has, in my estimation, hindered me from applying the latter part of bob's advice. in the past several months, through sharing and listening with/to others who have dealt with similar circumstances and struggles i have found immense encouragement. who would've thought, i'm not the center of the universe after all, nor am i the first to experience some of the feelings i do/have.
i recognize the idea of my opening up emotionally as a journey rather than a destination, which has both frightened and comforted me. i do know that as i have gradually removed myself from myself and the accompanying self centered-ness it has become so much easier for me to realize the magnificence of the grace, compassion and understanding that are exhibited when others do for me. along those same lines, i have gained an enhanced feeling of self-satisfaction and happiness when i try to do for others.
while i still find myself wallowing in the seemingly crumby hand i feel i've been dealt from time to time (i wish god played by the ace-no face rule), i certainly appreciate that it's taken everything i've been through to get me where i am today, and in keeping with the 60's lyrics, i've got to admit it's getting better, a little better all the time.
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2 comments:
wow! well late to the party, always the last to know everything it seems....you even have me linked and i didn't even know about it until today. adding you to my sidebar. looking forward to reading more of what you have to say. sending lots of love for your journey.
Yes, my dear one, do allow us to "do for you"! There is great joy in doing for others, as you know. But allowing yourself to take once in a while (or as often as you need it)is also a good thing (and it gives joy to the giver, as well!). We love you very much and we are so proud of you. We're here whenever you need us - or even if you don't need us!
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